Every morning as I sit down in some stifling classroom without having so much as broken a sweat on the journey thereto, I nearly convulse over the banality of my daily travels. With little more than a satchel of texts, the clothes on my back, and a freshly sharpened Puma P116396 Stainless Steel Stag Handle Bowie Knife, I sleepily set out for class knowing full-well how unlikely it is that I will have to fell anywhere between fifty and seventy-five furiously whooping savages, gargle luxuriously with a thick mouthful of crimson, and vomit a great arc into the mouths of their helplessly restrained progeny.