Partly Cloudy, 64°
In the interest of full disNoser, I'll admit that I applied to be a staff writer for the Brown Noser at the beginning of the semester. My submission was full of pure gold material, too. ("What happened when everyone got diarrhea on Spring Weekend? - A Pupe Fiasco!" C'mon! That's grade-A jokage, friends. Funny and topical. Fopical.) Nevertheless, I was told that my humor didn't "fit the Noser's style."
Oh yeah? Well, for the record, that's because you guys are too lame to even understand the humor behind my sty-ill. It is a well-known fact among the guys in my a capella group (We Didn't Start the Choir, still accepting members, email me if you got rejected by the Jabberwocks!!) that I am hilarious. One might even say that I'm so hilarious, it's hi-scary-ous. PWNed! Or should I say, PUNed?
You guys, on the other hand, psha! You think you're so cool with your fake news articles, and your.funny jokes. Well, FYI, you aren't even that funny! Brown Noser? More like Brown Poser. I will say this, though, you guys are a little like noses.because you smell! Yeah, that's right. I went there. Whatcha gonna do about it, cover me in snot-funny jokes? Oh man, I'm totally on a roll right now. A rock and roll. Because I rock. The casbah.
Hahahahahahahaha-See? That's funny, people! Taking it one step further. That's what the people want. The ladies, anyway. Oh snap!
Enjoy watching your paper tank without me on board, fellas!
Cordially,
Your nemesis,
Artie "I'll Skool You" Skolandris '10
a.k.a. Sko-dawg
P.S. Why did the cow drop out of the poker game? The STEAKS were too high. Ha! See? This is what you're missing. Not that I would want to write for your rag anyway. Whatevs.
P.P.S. So are you guys going to be accepting applications in the fall or what?
