I love you, darling. You are worth so much to me. You’re my friend, my lover, my confidante, my partner in crime. You mean everything in the world to me. It’s hard to put into words how I feel about you, because I have trouble differentiating between you and, say, a box of crackers, prescription toothpaste, a game of tetherball on an elementary school playground, and a disgruntled albatross.