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Turn on your television and it’s like looking into the 1950s. And I’m not just referring to the specially modified televisions that Time Sheriffs used to monitor the various streams of space and time. No, I’m referring to a Republican Party intent on sending this country back to segregationist times, both through hateful, race-baiting rhetoric and the secret temporal vortex they have created under the Positron Caves.
As W.E.B. Du Bois wrote in his groundbreaking Niagara Movement Address, “Either America will destroy ignorance or ignorance will destroy the United States.” As his alter ego W.E.B. Du Blast-Off inscribed into the Pillars of Time at the ceremonial founding of the Order of the Sacred Clock, “Those who seek to pit man against man inevitably have no respect for maintaining the integrity of the space-time continuum.” We would do well to ponder the words of this renowned academic and this pioneering chrononaut as we consider the state of American “democracy.”
The two-party system has failed us. The Democratic Party has been thoroughly captured by corporate interests. This has left the white working class vulnerable to the Republican Party’s message of divisiveness and bigotry and has created a vast unemployed workforce ready and willing to undertake the massive task of constructing the Vortex Manipulators that John Boehner and his team of right-wing cronies, including the evil Count Magromoth and his robot sidekick Bigotron, will need to carry out their dastardly plot.
It may sound preposterous, but that’s what we said when Rumsfeld vowed to bomb Iraq into the Stone Age, and look how that turned out. Now the entire Middle East is a temporal sinkhole of paradoxes and time loops. This is what’s at stake, people.
GOP operatives will often use coded language to appeal to their followers. “Welfare queens.” “Food stamp president.” “Secret underground trans-phasic laboratory.” “Traditional values.” “Three condensed particle beams, intersecting at precisely 7.3 μHz.” Such language may sound harmless, but I’ve seen firsthand its potential to incite instability of both a racial and temporal nature.
Not that the Democratic Party deserves any credit. They have consistently failed to offer a coherent left-wing vision for this country’s future, and have repeatedly caved to the GOP on matters of the budget and the morality of time travel. Military spending has actually increased under the Obama administration, funding the very R&D that at this very moment is creating a massive pocket of heavily charged tachyons in a secret mountain range in Nevada. The two-party system is beholden to owners of capital with a vested interest in breaking down the temporal barriers that prevent them from operating their predatory corporations across multiple timelines.
We have but one chance. A class-based coalition around racial lines, one that realizes the vast potential flashed during the Occupy movement, may be able to band together and seize the dilithium mines that are the centerpiece of the GOP scheme to send our entire nation to a time when the streetcars and cinemas were divided along the color line. While the Tea Party is distracted, the remaining Time Sheriffs who have not been ensnared by Count Magromoth’s magma traps will attempt to negate the vortex energy once and for all.
If we fail, our children may grow up in a world where blacks and whites sit at segregated lunch counters, Dwight Eisenhower is president, and the year is literally 1957. Will we rise to the challenge?
Julius Chronoton holds the Paul Robeson Endowed Professorship in Africana Studies and is wanted by the FBI’s Time Bureau for questioning. He can be reached at jules.ψchrono±69@earthlink.???
