It was reported earlier today that a Heimlich new-timer was just beating the shit out of a choking guy.
“Live, damn it, live!” said long-time bystander, first-time intervener Erica Nampa as she landed jab after jab against her choking opponent.
In a disappointing turn of events, the nosebleed just experienced by local 12-year-old Victor Atkinson is the result of a genetic blood vessel disorder rather than superpowers.
“I’m pretty sure I have psychic powers because every time I think about moving something with my mind, my nose bleeds,” said Victor, who had a more or less continuous stream of blood emanating from his nose.
Partly Cloudy, 64°
