The latest equations and theories by nuclear physicists indicate that the Large Hadron Collider, the world's largest particle accelerator used by CERN to study high-energy particle interactions, may in fact create a huge asshole. "We have discovered that the result of smashing the right particles together at nearly the speed of light, could very well be an asshole," said one leading scientist who spoke on condition of anonymity because he might be wrong and look like a total dumbass.
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