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The Brown Noser

Nikolos Gonzales

Writer (Retired)

Nikolos's articles

Student Loses Family in Fire, Gains Cool New Ghost Dog | May 09 2012

On Tuesday afternoon, all of Dave Wilson ’15’s family members were engulfed in flames that eventually leveled their house and wiped out years of cherished memories. But several hours later, in a miraculous turn of events, Wilson found a new companion in the otherworldly return of his dog, Rex.

Brother From Another Mother Reconnects With Half Brother's Other Mother | May 09 2012

In a rare display of familial harmony, Providence native and recognized brother-from-another-mother Tom Chen reconnected with long-lost relative and other mother to Chen’s half-brother Jason Quincy. Chen and Mrs. Quentin met by chance at a local softball tournament, where several sisters-from-other-misters were also in attendance, cheering on various people they were not related to but who shared with them a common interest or location.

Hipster Discovers New Kind of Bike Even Harder to Ride than Fixed Gear | Mar 09 2012

Last weekend, local hipsters were delighted by the discovery of a new, extremely hard-to-ride bicycle, made exclusively as a joke by a 1920s comedy troupe. Local bike historian and Subway sandwich artist Dwayne Porter found the skeleton of the bike in a local river bank where he and his friends listen to Sufjan Stevens and late-era Green Day, straddling the line between ironic and authentic listening.

Man Asks Radioshack Employee for 'A Cable, Any Kind of Cable' | Mar 09 2012

A quick intervention by Radioshack Manager Tom Link calmed a crisis earlier this Sunday when out of touch resident John Cameron burst through the door asking for a cable to hook up his computer tablet to a mobile television monitor, which resulted in several purchases of unnecessary and very expensive cables.

Football Team Confused by Night Games, Concept of Artificial Light | Nov 04 2011

Last month during Brown’s second annual night game, several players left the stadium and immediately noticed something was off: the moon was out. “I knew there were times when the moon would be out during the day,” said quarterback Buddy “Mastodon” Riggins ’12.