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The Brown Noser

Sam Dooman

Writer (Retired)

Sam's articles

Hooligan Caught Fixing Broken Exit Signs in Keeney | Nov 02 2012

Tuesday morning, Zack Milligan ’16 stepped out of his room to witness an elderly janitor whistling as he put a dangling exit sign back in place. Authorities arrived on the scene just five minutes after the distraught freshman reported the incident, and tackled the custodian off his stepladder before any real damage was done.

Pembroke Construction Worker Wonders When The Hell Students Won’t Live Here Every Goddamn Morning | Nov 02 2012

Yesterday morning, construction worker Joe Passantino was standing on his scaffolding when a deafening crash threw him off balance. After recovering from the shock, he saw that the noise came from a freshman closing the door to Champlin Hall on his way to class.