Witnesses reported that local 26-year-old Ethan Ruth has won yet another conversation. Ruth reportedly won by a mile while socializing at a close friend’s birthday party, later claiming that no one even came close to besting him.
“Another conversation, another triumph,” Ruth told himself after easily defeating all his conversational partners. “It’s starting to become a daily thing. Yet again, I’m victorious in a war of words.”
“I wiped the floor with them,” Ruth continued, dusting off his hands like he had just won an Olympic event and not disrespectfully monopolized and ruined a nice conversation. “They never stood a chance. Honestly, I’m getting a little bored. No one can even challenge me these days.”
At press time, Ruth defeated an interlocutor in a battle of wits.