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The Brown Noser

Badass Freshman Briefly Considers Taking Condom From RPL’s Door

Published Friday, December 6th, 2019

While heading back to his Jameson dorm room, total badass freshman Mark Travisano paused and considered taking a condom from the paper pocket on his RPL’s door.

“Hm, I guess it couldn’t hurt to grab a few,” Travisano thought to himself, a testament to his utterly hardcore attitude. “I mean, they’re there for a reason.”

“I could take a lubed and an unlubed, just to be safe," complete stud Travisano added. “I don’t want to put all the hours I spent on EverFi Sex Ed to waste.”

Travisano’s hand was nearing the edge of the pocket when he heard a door slam from down the hallway and decided he’d hit up his RPL’s door another time.

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