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The Brown Noser

“Bah! Humbug!” Reports Top-Hat-Wearing Paxson While Watching Students Play In Snow On Main Green

Published Friday, December 7th, 2018

Looking out the window of University Hall and seeing students playing in the snow on the Main Green, President Christina Paxson scornfully reported “Bah! Humbug!"

“There’s no time for this frivolity,” she said, using a candle to illuminate her walk down the corridors of University Hall. “It’s the busiest time of the year. These students should be studying for their finals, not frolicking in the snow.”

“Get to a library!” Paxson bellowed at two students building a snowman. “You students need to get your priorities straight. And work harder!”

Sources report that Paxson was visited by the ghost of Brown University Past, Maud Mandel, that night.

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