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The Brown Noser

Baseball Players Get Paid?!

Published Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014

You’re serious? What about center fielders? Shortstops? No way.

There’s just no way all those guys get paid money for running around a field and swinging bats! I mean, it’s a good enough game, and I’d be lying if I told you I don’t tune in from time to time, but I’m just not clear on why they’d be getting compensated.

What did I think they did it for? I don’t know, it looks pretty fun. They all seem to be having a good time hanging out with their friends and tossing a ball around. I play softball with my daughter sometimes, and even though I can’t catch all that well, I still like it.

I figured they had a league going. Everybody puts in five bucks and the winning team gets the pot and then treats everyone to a beer, maybe nachos. Just a few pals getting together, doing their best to stay in shape. But, of course, not trying too hard.

You know what? I was thinking of telling Billy from the middle-school team to sign up. Kid’s got an arm on him. Sure, he’s young, but I didn’t think that’d be a problem, what with his arm. Guess I really should tell him now. Is there an email for that?

You learn something new everyday, don’t you? And, no, I know, it’s America’s favorite—wait. They get paid MILLIONS OF DOLLARS?! To play a game. For seven months. I thought Jerry down the street was overpaid, and he’s still paying off Bowdoin. Jerry’s a lawyer.

I guess that’s just America for you! Land of the free. Sheesh.

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