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The Brown Noser

Controversial Beatboxer Goes Even Further, Saying He Thinks Women Shouldn’t Expect Btss-Tss-Kch-Tss-Tss Unless They Boom-Cat-Cat-Boom-Cat

Published Friday, May 3rd, 2024

According to reports, controversial beatboxer Bernie “The Fish” Brandt has just doubled down on his prior statements, adding that he thinks “Women Shouldn’t Expect Btss-Tss-Kch-Tss-Tss Unless They Boom-Cat-Cat-Boom-Cat.

“I’m not going to allow the media to censor me for speaking the truth.,” said Brandt, emphatically, while wearing a sideways hat, holding his hand over his mouth, and bobbing his other arm out from side to side. “I just don’t believe women are capable of bowa-bowa-bwaaaa as much as men are. Men are just naturally more bow-tss-tss-bow-bow, more era-era-eh-eh-era-era. Does it hurt my reputation to say that? Certainly, but it shouldn’t! All I’m saying is that if they want to pop-pop-poom-pop-pop, then maybe they should try and get a little more na-na-na-na-na-come-on.”

At press time, socially conscious scat-artist Scoots Monroe responded, saying each human being is afforded the right to zoop-bee-doo-bop-bop, regardless of their zabap-bap-bap-bap-zee-bap-bap-bap.

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