Thursday, October 18, 2018
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The Brown Noser

Curious Epidemiologist Suggests Maybe We Just Let It Spread For A Little While

Published Friday, March 9th, 2018

After reports of a small outbreak of yellow fever in Western Europe, curious epidemiologist Trent Martone suggested that maybe it should just be allowed to spread for a while.

“I just think it would be interesting if we saw what happened,” reported Martone, enthusiastically watching news reports of the outbreak. “Aren’t you a little curious?”

Colleagues report Martone got out a map and drew a big circle around all of Eastern Europe, adding “Wouldn’t it be pretty crazy if it got all the way over there? Maybe we just sit back and see what happens.”

At press time, sources report seeing Martone running off from his lab with a test tube labeled “BIOHAZARD.”

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