Partly Cloudy, 64°
Saying that he was pumping his fist and walking slowly back to the alley’s wooden benches, sources reported that it is apparent that local dad Pat Benson really needs this bowling game right now.
Benson, who has beads of sweat on his forehead, has reportedly played three consecutive games with his two children without allowing bumpers. “He’s been yelling a lot,” said Benson’s 10-year-old son Rory. “I haven’t seen him this emotional in a long time. I really want to go home.”
“Come on!” said Benson in desperation after missing the headpin and leaving himself a difficult split. “What are you doing, Pat?”
Sources confirm that while Benson has never bowled a perfect game before, he has bowled a perfect game into the eighth frame, and he has recounted the story several times to his kids and to the teenager working at the shoe-rental counter.
“Dad really needs to get his act together,” said Benson’s daughter Hannah. “When he gets a strike, he jumps up and down like he won the lottery. When he makes a mistake, he pulls his baseball cap down over his eyes and it’s very clear that he’s crying.”
“I bowled in a league back in high school,” said Benson, crouched next to his children. “A couple of buddies and I did it every Thursday and I was good, too. I wonder if there’s a family league here we could join.”
Benson added, “I’ll certainly have enough time now that I don’t have a job.”
At press time, Benson was ordering another pizza and pitcher of coke from the snack bar and attempting to rally the kids for a fourth game.
