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Sources revealed Wednesday that area man Allen Carmichael, 55, and his son Joseph, 15, are continually engaged in attempts to prevent the other from discovering their marijuana habits. Despite living on the same floor of the same house and spending hours of each day together, both individuals remain entirely unaware of the other’s nagging compulsion to smoke, ingest or otherwise consume cannabis, sources close to the father-son pair said.
“I wouldn’t want to set a bad example for my boy,” said the elder Carmichael through a thick haze of smoke and Cheetos dust. “He’s young and impressionable. But as soon as he gets on the school bus, I roll up a fat one and head to the garage.”
“My old man would get so sore if he found out I was getting high,” said Joseph as he walked down his driveway to board the bus. “That’s why me and the crew blaze before school in the custodial shed that Mike unlocked that one time."
“Mike is chill,” he added.
Bus sources later confirmed that onboard, Joseph displayed two joints he’d carefully hidden in his lunchbox after his father had finished packing it for him earlier that morning.
“I got this stuff from Deano,” Joseph told his classmates, referring to local marijuana dealer Henry Dean. “It’s really strong.”
“I usually get my dope from Deano,” Allen explained, referring to the same marijuana dealer. “He’s got some good product. They’ve really made some progress on this stuff since the seventies.”
While Allen told sources that one day he’d like to share a doobie with his son, Joseph reportedly hopes his father never finds out about his smoking.
“Aw, Christ.” Joseph said. “Whenever he gets mad, he goes and stews in his room for a bit, and comes out red-eyed and refuses to talk to me. I can’t deal with it.”
At press time, both Joseph and Allen Carmichael had both hit that last one a little too hard, gotten cranked as shit and were simultaneously freaking out worrying the other could tell.
