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The Brown Noser

Dad’s House Much More Fun

Published Wednesday, May 9th, 2012

Matt Robertson, age 10, recently reported to a group of schoolyard friends that, when given the option, he much prefers spending time at his father’s spacious, ranch-style home than the two-bedroom apartment now shared by his mother and her new boyfriend. After Dad won joint-custody last September, Matt has been spending every other week at Dad’s house, enjoying full access to his father’s music and movie collections. The elementary schooler went on to detail long hours spent staying up late to watch television, eating sugary cereal before the school bus and staying outside well past dark — all activities strictly prohibited by Mom and Jeff.

Pacific Lutheran University

“Dad is awesome,” said Matt. “He let’s me do whatever I want. Like last week when I asked if I could iron his shirt — he let me do that.”

Matt maintains that conditions at Mom’s house are markedly less cool. Though Jeff insists that Matt call him by his first name and acknowledges that he will never replace Matt’s father, Matt remains suspicious. Matt went on to complain about how Mom’s place doesn’t have the good cable package and that Jeff doesn’t know how to organize the Legos.

Sources confirm that three weekends ago Dad let Matt watch him practice his golf swing for nearly 45 minutes before the two went out for chicken wings.

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