After news broke that he hired ex-Onion staffers to launch a new comedy website, Elon Musk announced his hiring of Brown Noser staffers to make a slightly lower-quality satirical news website. “I saw what they had done in The Noser, and I knew they would be perfect for my new project,” said Musk, explaining his goal of adding a low-grade satirical website to his growing media empire. “In the same way that The Noser is a lesser version of The Onion, this website will be a slightly worse version of my new satire website. The Noser writers are not professionals, and the quality of their work reflects that. But this will give us some more content, and I only have to pay them a stipend for the summer.” Insiders report that the website’s first article will be a weak observational joke about college graduation.

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