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The Brown Noser

Guy Wearing Shorts in Snow Must be Tough, Rugged Individual

Published Friday, March 9th, 2018

Sources report that local man Al Nicco, who wears shorts even when it’s snowing, must be a tough and rugged individual.

Nicco, who has never been sighted wearing long pants in the winter, has been touted by strangers as a shining example of resilience and self-reliance. “Even during the snow day he was wearing shorts,” explained onlooker Kris Huang, pointing out that despite Nicco’s constant shivering, “he’s clearly a self-made man who pulls himself up by his bootstraps.”

In fact, Nicco has gained a reputation throughout campus of being unbreakable. “He really plays by his own rules and isn’t afraid to do something different from everyone else,” elaborated Huang. “I respect that maverick spirit.”

According to other students, Nicco’s chattering teeth and shallow breathing after he eats lunch on the steps of Faunce in below-freezing weather are not symptoms of hypothermia, but instead are signs of his robust masculinity. “Sure, he occasionally gets mild frostbite on his calves,” added Huang. “But Al is the beacon of rugged individualism that our millennial generation is missing.”

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