According to recent reports, local milkman Donald McDougal has been disappointed by his lack of affairs with neighborhood housewives.

“I really thought I’d spend more time sneaking in through back doors and stealing smooches against the icebox,” explained a downcast McDougal. “All I’ve done so far is drop off dairy products in the suburbs and run away from Labradoodles.”

“I’ve never snuck out a window with my trousers around my ankles and lipstick on my collar,” McDougal reported, trying his best to drop off a gallon of skim milk flirtatiously. “Gee, I really thought I’d father at least a couple children throughout my time as a milkman. I guess this job just isn’t all it’s cracked out to be.”

At press time, McDougal was wondering if he’d find more luck as the neighborhood mailman.

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