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Local woman Aden Doyle recently attempted to salvage an awkward first date by boldly asking “ya like bread?”
“You surely mess around with Pumpernickel?” asked Aden, pointing to the basket of assorted Cheesecake Factory bread sitting on the table. “I mean…who doesn’t love…fuck’n carbs, am I right? Right??"
“Fine I admit it, Sonic The Hedgehog wasn’t the best movie suggestion,” said Aden as she continued to spiral and attempted to force-feed a dinner roll to her date. “Here comes the choo-choo-train…opennnn uppppp.”
“Sorry, my boyfriend used to love when I did that…he was so naughty!” shared Aden as she launched into a detailed story about her ex. “We were actually engaged, but that’s besides the point.”
At press time, Aden asked her date “how was it?” when she returned from the bathroom.
