Uh oh, you reported, Mom’s friend is here and it looks like she’s going in for one of those Mom’s Friend hugs. Oh man.

“It’s so great to see you, Derrick,” said Mom’s friend Janice Jacoby, as you arched your back to minimize body contact with the 52-year-old homemaker. “You look just like your dad.” Jacoby went on to express her hope that you are having a good time at college and speculated that wow, you might have grown even taller over the course of the past two months. She also touched your elbow.

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