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The Brown Noser

Museum Of Natural History Acquires Some More Old Bullshit

Published Friday, December 9th, 2016

Marking the organization’s largest acquisition in nearly a decade, officials from the Museum of Natural History announced on Monday that they would be unveiling a bunch of old bullshit by the end of the year.

“Up until now, most of our collection was comprised of some pretty old bullshit, as well as some more modern bullshit,” said curator Meredith Williams, who, in addition to overseeing acquisition and maintenance of bullshit for the museum, acts as the head of community outreach to ensure that everyone knows just how much old bullshit can be found in the building. “This new collection is almost entirely really old bullshit, which we couldn’t be happier about. Plus, the geographic breadth is impressive. We have bullshit from the Americas, Asia, and Africa.”

“In addition to our newest additions, we continue to offer bullshit for people of all ages,” Williams continued. “We have an interactive exhibit where kids can come and touch replicas of some of the oldest bullshit known to man such as dinosaur fossils, coins from Ur, and ancient Egyptian scrolls. We also have a state-of-the-art planetarium where people can go to hear some bullshit about stars and planets.”

At press time, Williams was seen ushering museum-goers to the gift shop, which offers a wide selection of expensive bullshit for people to buy.

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