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Last week, the team and family of San Antonio Spurs coach Gregg Popovich were shocked and saddened to learn that their beloved coach and mentor was now a fully mature blue Indian peacock.
The news reportedly came as a big surprise to Popovich’s players, not just because they were upset by his recent diagnosis, but also because they had not known a person could turn into a peacock.
“I just, I mean, yeah…” said Spurs forward Tim Duncan.
While Popovich’s condition represents a significant setback for the Spurs, Duncan and his peers have been vocal in expressing their support for their beloved peafowl mentor.
“I mean, uhh, our hearts go out to Gregg and his family in this hard and frankly confusing time,” said Duncan. “I’ve seen that man beat teams in over five championships, I’m positive he can beat this disease too.”
He added, “This is a disease, right? Please, do you know what’s going on?”
Assistant Coach Hank Egan said that Popovich had seemed perfectly human up until the day he wasn’t anymore.
“Well, I remember I came to practice one day, and [Gregg] was demonstrating some blocking techniques,” Duncan said. “He was showing the boys how to use their fanning tail plumage to completely block a shot, and that was when we realized that Coach had fanning tail plumage.”
Doctors have suggested moving Popovich into a long-term care facility that might be more prepared to treat his condition, such as a damp forest or a zoo.
While experts admit that Popovich’s transformation is surprising, it is not without precedent. According to debarred pet diagnostician Albert Foss, this is the first example of sudden human-to-peafowl transformation since former U.S. President Gerald F. Ford famously turned into a radiant Congo peacock while in office.
