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The Brown Noser

Old West Doctor Doesn’t Have Degree, Does Have Top Hat

Published Saturday, February 18th, 2023

Sources in the Old West report that while their town doctor doesn’t have a medical degree, he does have a top hat.

“Doc Grumbin is truly the best practitioner of the medical arts our town has ever seen,” stated Mayor Brody, who was elected mayor based on his credentials of owning a striped vest and pocket watch. “I declare, he’s even got a mustache! How could you not trust a man with a mustache to perform surgery upon you?”

Doc Grumbin is known for his state-of-the-art equipment, including a big saw, and, when necessary, an old metal bucket.

“I can hardly think of a man with better bedside manners than our Doc,” added Mayor Brody from his massive leather chair. “When I was in his office the other day, he gave me a belt to bite down on AND a slug of whiskey! I think he also took a drink, but it would have been rude of him to let me drink alone.”

At press time, the town’s law enforcement consisted of anyone with a gun.

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