Local police sketch artist Colin Sullivan is certain that witnesses are just describing him when trying to remember details about the person who allegedly robbed a local grocery store sources report Monday.
“I’m just trying to do my job,” said Sullivan, faithfully sketching his self-portrait for the third time this day. “These witnesses all have truly terrible memories. How are the detectives going to be solve another case if literally every single sketch I hand them is of a 5’11” man with brown hair and eyes. That’s me in case that wasn’t clear.”
At press time, Sullivan was seen tearing up his sketch.