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The Brown Noser

Paranoid Police Sketch Artist Convinced Witnesses Just Describing Him

Published Friday, November 4th, 2016

Local police sketch artist Colin Sullivan is certain that witnesses are just describing him when trying to remember details about the person who allegedly robbed a local grocery store sources report Monday.

“I’m just trying to do my job,” said Sullivan, faithfully sketching his self-portrait for the third time this day. “These witnesses all have truly terrible memories. How are the detectives going to be solve another case if literally every single sketch I hand them is of a 5’11” man with brown hair and eyes. That’s me in case that wasn’t clear.”

At press time, Sullivan was seen tearing up his sketch.

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