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In Monday’s address to the University, President Christina Paxson revealed that though she strongly supports gay marriage as a local business owner, she remains unsure about it as a character named Josh that she’s been workshopping at comedy clubs in the greater New England area.
“I’m a liberal woman, always have been, always will be,” remarked Paxson. “This character, Josh, on the other hand, is a working class Roman Catholic from Woonsocket, Rhode Island. He grew up in a conservative family, and it’s hard for him to shake the traditional values his upbringing instilled in him.”
She added, “And let me tell you, audiences love it!”
“Personally, I’m a huge supporter of gay rights and that includes the right to get married,” Paxson explained. “But when I’m doing Josh for a packed house at the Comedy Connection, I’m gonna be fairly ambivalent about the issue. Gonna do a lot of shrugging, a lot of sighing. Those are all parts of the Josh schtick that I do.”
“Gays, goys, and Greeks, no one rides for free,” said Paxson. “That’s what Josh would say. It’s one of his trademark noncommittal quips that in no way seems to indicate a clear opinion on the issue of gay marriage. The guy’s just not sure about it. Unlike me. I’m sure about it. Go gays!”
At press time, Paxson announced plans to unveil a new character she’s been working on at an open mic in Cranston this Saturday. “Penelope’s a gutsy broad with a real chip on her shoulder and a penchant for dropping f-bombs in a sort of lilting whine,” said Paxson. “Also, she fucking loves gays.”
