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The Brown Noser

REPORT: Look Look Look That Kid Ain’t Got NOOOOO Teeth!

Published Friday, March 9th, 2018

Look, look, look that kid on the playground ain’t got nooooo teeth, eyewitnesses reported.

“Derek, Robbie, Mikey,” reported one of the other kids on the playground. “Look over there by the slide. That kid ain’t got nooooo teeth.”

“Yo yo yo,” he continued, after getting a reeeeaaaal good look. “Not one tooth in his mouth. If there were some teeth, I wouldn’t think anything of it. But there are none. Where are they?”

“Maybe he was born without teeth,” said Mikey after taking a nice loooooong look.

“Maybe he has them but they’re all very small and you just can’t see them,” reported Derek after finally seeing what the heeeeeeeellllll those guys were talking about.

“Maybe it’s the new style and he’s ahead of the curve,” guessed Robbie, mouth dropping waaaaaaay open in shock.

The three kids from across the playground were staring prettttttty hard, reported the kid with no teeth.

“They are sooo curious,” said the kid with no teeth. “And I think I know why. They wonder, but they will neeeeeeever know why I have no teeth. You will never know. I am a mystery. I am a riddle. I am an enigma.”

“It’s like he is too old to be losing teeth, and too old to be growing new ones,” said Derek from the other side of the playground, still toooooootally caught up in what he is seeing.

They are stiiiiiiiill staring, continued the kid with no teeth.

“They look at me,” said the kid with no teeth, “But do you know where I look? To the trees. To the sky. To the wind we all take into our lungs. Even me. The boy with no teeth. And I’m not saying that I think I’m better than everyone else or something. I just think it’s important that we take some time to notice the little things around us. Life is short. There’s not time to worry about money, or cars, or teeth.”

“He’s soooooooo right,” thought Derek, Robbie, and Mikey after somehow receiving the boy with no teeth’s message in their head.

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