Partly Cloudy, 64°
“Peeing is a thing we do without even thinking about, but this time was special,” continues her peeing partner, Olivia Chang, who is so grateful that the virility and liquid content of their mutual urination was able to strike a harmonic resonance that brought the godly presence into the material plane. “I immediately went home and cried for 12 hours straight. My soul was then cleansed of all evil.”
Strangers pissing in the bathroom at the same time results in a divine sound due to the synching of their pee streams.
“I was just going to the bathroom, and someone else happened to be in there. I didn’t think anything about it at first,” tells Jennifer Grayson, who is unaware that her bladder timing was preordained by a great power in creating sacred noise so beautiful, it seems impossible to be heard by mortal ears. “It was the most spiritual moment in my existence. I know that is what it will sound like when I reach the pearly gates of heaven.”
At press time, the harmony of strangers pooping in a public bathroom plops together like the base of a hellish demon incantation.
