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Sources report that there is absolutely no way former president Bill Clinton wrote a word of the paperback thriller The President’s Daughter.
“I mean, it’s got his name on the front,” said local book enthusiast David Onek. “But I have a super hard time believing that Bill Clinton sat down and plotted out a high-octane action novel where fictional President Matthew Keating personally leads a Navy SEAL mission to rescue his kidnapped daughter.”
Onek also expressed doubt that Clinton could have created the character of Trask Floyd, hardened combat veteran turned wealthy actor and movie director.
“Like, he’s running the Clinton Foundation, right? Doing speaking engagements, making humanitarian visits around the world,” speculated Onek, flipping through the glossy 500-page book. “There’s no way he took the time to come up with the plot twist where Vice President Barnes turns out to have been in league with the terrorists the whole time. I don’t even think he wrote his actual autobiography, let alone this book with a shirtless man jumping off a helicopter on the cover.”
At press time, it was actually pretty easy to believe that George Bush painted that horse.
