Partly Cloudy, 64°
In a new study conducted at the University of Maine, researchers have discovered the cloudy, mysterious phenomenon of fog is actually hundreds of ghosts raving where a destroyed warehouse used to stand.
Through electromagnetic sensors, scientists at UMaine noticed ghost LED gloves, ghost LED hula-hoops, and ghost lasers that have only one possible explanation: a ghost rave.
This research explains the turbidity of fog, which is comprised of hundreds of cut ghost bodies gyrating against each other indiscriminately. It also reveals why we feel moisture as we walk through fog, caused by not only the thick layer of sweat layered on each ghost body, but also the damp ghost tongues sloppily wrestling with each other.
“Our previous explanation for fog was way off,” top researcher Dr. Vrinda Shah said. “Meteorology and Paranormology are two fields of science that interact very little, which is why it took so long for us to realize that fog is not condensed water droplets but actually a mob of ghosts taking ecstasy and dancing to EDM music.”
When asked why we can’t hear the electrical music of the ghosts, Shah said, “Ghosts have their own frequencies completely undetectable by the human ear without special equipment. When I put on my spectral-audio detection headphones, I was able to hear a distinct dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum-dum. The dum-dum sound continued to build up for what seemed like an unusual amount of time. When I thought it couldn’t continue any longer without reaching a climax, the music stopped. For a second, I thought my equipment malfunctioned. Then the music came back louder than before, causing the ghosts to all get very excited and move in unison.”
Shah and her team indicate they still have no understanding of what use the beaded bracelets left behind after fog has disappeared could possibly have.
