Fervently digging through his contact list, senior David Minsk decided Wednesday that it was about time to catch up with that girl who has a car, and also time to get groceries.

“Moriah was in my unit freshman year,” Minsk said after peering into his empty fridge. “We talked a few times but, wow, it’s been awhile! I’m just gonna shoot her a text. I wonder what she’s been up to. I can’t wait to sit down, talk about senior year, and ask if she’s headed to Whole Foods anytime soon.”

“I’ve cleared my weekend for two things: grabbing coffee with Moriah, and stocking up on groceries," mentioned Minsk, as he considered his barren pantry. "I’m excited to chat with an old friend who happens to have a car, and after that make a trip to the grocery store, ideally in that same car.”

At press time, Minsk was practicing the phrase “Wait, you have a car, right?” over and over in the mirror.

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