Partly Cloudy, 64°
Reports indicate that a sophomore who recently scored a Greg A suite is super thankful for his future suitemate’s disability.
“This is the best thing ever!” said Andy Burner ’27 as he hoisted his hand up to high five his friend, who is a double arm amputee. “Oh. Wait. Sorry buddy. But wow! Hell yeah. We get our own sink! So we can wash our… we can, um, so, um. What was I saying? Wow, the weather. So nice today, right?”
“I am just blessed. Absolutely blessed,” continued Burner as he lifted a glass for his friend at a Ratty dinner. “Everyone, cheers for my good friend, and his early housing registration time slot. Greg A, here we come.”
At press time, a Brown freshman who got assigned to Perkins was considering painless ways to remove their leg.
