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The Brown Noser

Soylent Most Efficient Way To Enjoy Meal That Tastes Like Shit

Published Friday, December 1st, 2017

At a press conference last tuesday, Soylent CEO Rob Rhinehart announced Soylent’s commitment to making their product the most efficient way to enjoy a meal that tastes like shit. The meal replacement in a bottle can be taken anywhere and endured on-the-go.

“Our drinks are perfectly engineered to supply you with 20% of your daily nutrients and absolutely no enjoyable flavor,” said Rhinehart. “Soylent is here to ensure that you can get complete nutrition without any preparation and even less physical pleasure.”

Recent years have seen consumers turn more and more to meal replacements as they search for options that are quick and gross.

“People don’t always have time to make a whole meal and downing a bottle of liquid chalk is quick and easy,” continued Rhinehart. “You don’t even have to chew.”

Looking to expand its hold on the market, Soylent has unveiled three new flavors, coffee, cocoa, and nectar, which all taste like garbage compared to the real thing.

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