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The Brown Noser

Student In Discussion Section Struggles To Articulate Thought But Insists On Continuing To Speak Anyway

Published Friday, May 12th, 2023

During a recent discussion session of an introductory philosophy course, student Bradley Dershowitz struggled to articulate his thought but refused to yield the floor.

“Sorry if this is a half baked thought, but all great insights are ahead of their time,” said Dershowitz as he summarized the assigned readings with absolutely no original insight. “If y’all bear with me, we can deliver this intellectual baby together.”

“Mind if I let the dogs breath for a bit?” asked Dershowitz as he removed his shoes and filled the room with his signature Bradley-Stank, putting a finger to his lips to shush the class. “I’m really trying to channel Papí Nietzsche right now, but with my own special sauce drizzled on top.”

At press time, Dershowitz was still speaking while now pacing menacingly around the classroom.

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