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Noting that they’d maybe each learned something about fairness and mutual respect, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and Los Angeles Lakers shooting guard Kobe Bryant traded bodies last week in what must be a super weird parable about sportsmanship, sources confirmed.
“When I woke up one morning to find that I was in Los Angeles and late for morning drills at the Staples Center, I was freaked,” said Brady, who swapped forms with 16-time NBA All-Star Bryant probably as a lesson about integrity both on the court and on the gridiron. “Later that night, I found myself in a game-time situation and came to understand that basketball is pretty hard. Basketball players work just as hard as football players.”
“That’s a good lesson, I guess,” Brady added. “That must be it.”
Bryant, who had not played football since college, reportedly led the Patriots to a 42-20 victory over the Indianapolis Colts as Brady. “Now I know what it’s like to play at Gillette Stadium in November,” Bryant remarked, adding that he also discovered what it means to be a good leader or something. “This has been a good experience. Being a different rich and famous person has taught me a lot.”
The sports world was initially confused as to the trade’s broader implications, though pundits speculate that it had to have been part of some kind of a morality tale about competition and fellowship between athletes. The nearly analogous level of success, talent, wealth, and respectability on part of each athlete, however, undermined any sense of certainty as to why this sort of thing would happen.
“You’ve got Tom Brady and Kobe Bryant,” said ESPN analyst Ron Jaworski. “Suddenly, Tom Brady is Kobe Bryant and Kobe Bryant is Tom Brady. They’re each playing the other's sport, and they’re each damn good at it. Let that be a lesson to all of us.”
At press time, Ray Lewis and Donte Stallworth swapped bodies in a similar morality tale presumably about the virtues of getting away with murder because you’re a celebrity.
