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The Brown Noser

Underfunded NASA Sends Used 2005 Corolla Into Space In Response to Latest SpaceX Launch

Published Friday, April 20th, 2018

Following Space X’s launch of Elon Musk’s Tesla Roadster into space, NASA announced that they will send a used 2005 Toyota Corolla into space to compete for publicity.

“We’re ecstatic to announce that NASA will be launching a used Corolla into space by the end of the month,” announced NASA’s administrator Robert Lightfoot. “Space X has gotten a ton of attention for their Tesla stunt, and this will get our name back out there. But, you know, we don’t have the resources SpaceX has anymore.”

Lightfoot explained that one of their former astronauts donated the car after their elderly parents’ stopped driving.

“The car had too many miles on it to be resold, so he gave it to us,” Lightfoot continued.

NASA engineers reported that a used crash test dummy will sit in the driver’s seat while the Corolla is in orbit. They went on to say that, because the radio’s speaker is broken, NASA will be putting a portable speaker in the car to play music.

“The Corolla only has a tape deck anyways so the speakers aren’t even the major holdup,” explained Lightfoot. “But I found an awesome portable radio in my garage so we’re just going to put that in the center console instead. It’s perfect for our budget constraints and I’m sure it’ll do the trick.”

“We also had to get creative with the seats,” he continued. “They’re not leather but we wanted to make them look nice so we got some fancy pleather seat covers for them. We’re confident that, once we scrape off the bumper stickers from the back and paint over some of the dings on the fender, the launch is going to be just like SpaceX’s if not better.”

To raise money for the flight, NASA engineers are hosting a car wash in the Kennedy Space Center’s parking lot.

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