Partly Cloudy, 64°
My fellow brothers and all you gorgeous ladies, what’s with the hesitation? Get those Venmos in before we raise those prices. C’mon now. 300 tickets already sold!! There are very few left—only 150 total, if I had to guess. You might as well snag one at the very bargain price of $16. Tickets are rising to $24 at 7:00 pm. You do not want to miss out. Rumor has it that DJ Mmoney7 will be hitting the stage at midnight. Get ordering those park ranger and paleontologist costumes! Let’s gooooo!
365 tickets sold! Guys, I literally warned you. Tickets are now up to $24. Venmo and get yours while you still can. At noon they are rising to $33. It will be the party of the century. Plus we got a keg. Lowkey, few things at this school are as fun as DPhi’s Jurassic Park After Dark. Actually, I cannot think of anything that is more fun. You need to pull up. But only I can dress as Alan Grant. You hear me—I do not want to see another Alan Grant. Feel free to dress as a dinosaur, but make it sexy. Nobody wants to flirt with an inflatable Velociraptor costume.
My fellow brothers and all you gorgeous ladies, stop Venmoing. Like actually stop Venmoing. I’m not kidding. We are entirely sold out. You should have Venmoed in advance. I told you to. No one to blame but yourself. We will only refund tickets for those who Venmoed before 6:00 pm. After that, we will not refund you. Do not try to show up if not on the list. You will not get in. Again, you will not get in. We hired a bouncer. The rest of you, I hope you are excited to live it up. We live for tonight. We live as though we are going extinct tomorrow babbbyy!
