Oh my gosh, I just heard that you got accepted to do a Fulbright in Buenos Aires, congratulations! I’m so happy for you. You’re going to love it there. You know, I’ve actually spent a lot of time there, given that I’ve spent the last decade meticulously researching the historical, political, and migratory patterns of modern Argentina because, you know, I was really hoping to do a Fulbright in Buenos Aires.
Now, now, sweet boy. Yes, you, my sophomore sapling. So spry. So jubilant. So full of life. My sweet boy, you make dreary nights a dream for this dorm hallway emergency exit sign. I revel in the scent of your Axe body spray. I relish the remnants of your musk, imbued with cedarwood and sweat, lingering through this corridor.
Come on, you guys! Those huge, white panels covering the Lindemann may look like temporary siding, but they’re totally supposed to be there.
Do you really think I’m stupid enough to leave up hundreds of corrugated iron sheets before opening to the general public? No way! I designed the building like this.
You there! Kind sir, please, take my children. The night air is harsh, and where I’m going, they may not follow. For, I have no way I will transport my plants to New York, and graduation grows ever closer.
I can see in your eyes, you’re a kind, giving man.
Hi everyone, I know that the vaccine debate has divided our country for decades, and the outbreak of Covid-19 has only amplified that split. As a doctor, I would like to share my professional opinion: To be honest, I don’t know what’s in your child, and I don’t feel comfortable exposing my needles to that, so I am an anti-vaxxer.