At a press conference on Tuesday, the nation’s kooky tinkerers called on the American energy sector to abandon fossil fuels in favor of elaborate Rube Goldberg machines.
“As the science on climate change has made alarmingly clear, it is imperative that we end our reliance on coal, oil, and natural gas and invest in intricate contraptions powered by silly chain reactions,” said tinkerer Ed Fredrickson as he passionately made the case for Rube Goldberg machine energy solutions.
A breathtaking new study published in The Journal of Zoological Research demonstrates that all octopus species are remarkably smart, but, like, they’re still octopuses so the word “smart” is relative here.
“What we have found in octopuses is a surprising ability to distinguish between shapes and patterns,” said co-author of the study Dr.
In its latest press release, E-commerce giant Amazon has revealed its newest environmental initiative requiring delivery drivers to use reusable piss bottles.
“Single-use plastic bottles can linger in our oceans and other natural ecosystems for almost 500 years!” said Amazon’s public relations officer Stanley Mortimer.
As the Delta and Delta Plus variants continue to spike across the country, COVID has announced a new Delta Silver Premium option for longtime subscribers. “Some of you have been tempting fate for a long time now,” said COVID at a press conference last week.