Jared's articles
There was a campus-wide celebration on Wednesday as it was announced that all students had won the housing lottery.
"I'm a rising sophomore, so I knew I would probably end up living in a bathroom next year, but now the possibilities are endless!" said Jennifer Drawson '11.
When I take out my cell phone, and I'm alone in public, my coolness factor explodes by at least two and a half. People no longer stare at me awkwardly, judging, because both they and I know that this is a guy who has someone to talk to, so he has to be the man.
The Ratty hamburger is going to space, NASA announced Monday. NASA will begin using the unique delicacy as toilet paper on future missions.
"Astronauts have been complaining about the obsoleteness of toilet paper for years. The Ratty hamburger just seemed like the natural step up," NASA administrator Michael D.
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