Jelly's articles
A new study led by Professor of Psychology Carol Whitford has determined that dogs are better than cats. And if you disagree, it's not like anyone's forcing you to read this, so you can just stop reading now. According to the abstract, the study began with Professor Whitford's divorce from Associate Professor of Neuroscience Ian Jameson, who immediately claimed custody of the couple's prized feline, Snowball, leaving Whitford with their furniture-devouring dog, Buster.
Starting Tuesday, November 3, students in various states of intoxication logged onto their laptops at 8 a.m. to register for spring semester classes that would expand their academic horizons in ways they might not have even considered without the influence of alcohol.
Last Saturday night, an appalling number of Brown University students flocked downtown to gape at some ordinary bonfires sitting on an ordinary river when they could have been partying it up in New Pembroke #4, Room 419, like any cool person would have.
The New Pembroke party was not just your regular excuse to drink, dance, and vomit, but rather a celebration of this reporter's birthday.
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