Area man Rodney Kleeson was devastated to discover that his new Garfield chest tattoo distracts from his Jon half-sleeve and Odie tramp stamp.
“Yeah, the Garf tat was supposed to be my crown jewel—my pièce de résistance, if you will,” Kleeson explained, pulling off his sweat-stained graphic tee to reveal a hairy chest emblazoned with the orange face of America’s most cynical feline.
According to the Brown Center for Career Exploration, any acquaintance who views your LinkedIn definitely wants to make sweet, sweet love to you.
“Honestly, I don’t think anybody will be surprised by this—it’s pretty intuitive,” stated Career Center advisor Craig Putowski, scanning his lengthy list of LinkedIn profile views for any particularly attractive and vaguely familiar profile pictures.
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