David Garcia '11 is known across campus as one of the most accomplished film critics at Brown University. Thanks to eloquent, gushingly positive reviews such as "Citizen Kane: Not So Bad, Except That One Part" and "Casablanca: I Dunno, Dude," Garcia has risen above the confines of his plaid button-downs, tight jeans and independent concentration in "Ideas and What They Signify" to become what some have called "Ebert and Roeper's deformed, slightly autistic film critique lovechild.
Sporting some nascent stubble, Chester McDaniels '11 walked into the Olney-Margolis Athletic Center for the first time in his Brown career. An artist who has performed many quasi-understandable pieces of music-based performance art on the Main Green, McDaniels was unveiling a new project at a press conference with greater-than-expected attendance.
Valentine's Day has long been heralded as a day filled with love and boxes of chocolates, both the metaphorical and the delicious kinds. But this year Cupid's arrow struck far and wide, inflaming the passions of students and faculty alike all across campus and leading to a sexile epidemic unlike anything the University has ever experienced before.
"I didn't think it counted," insisted Winston McKinney '13 of his experience frolicking on the Minnesota snow outside his grandparents' house during Christmas 1996. "I mean, I was only five-"
"You were only five?" spat Dwayne Jenkins '13, voice thick with tears, hunched miserably on the sofa in the therapist's office beside his roommate.
What has been deemed by a Prospect & Meeting spokesperson as the "most astoundingly successful match yet, by default, we guess," began innocently enough. Mitch Henderson '11 and Gloria Fields '11, best friends since freshmen year, listed each other as "romantic interests" on the website as a joke.