The Brown Noser

Arts & Culture (May 03 2024 issue)

Report: British Singer Sounds Normal When Singing | May 03 2024

According to concert goers at Loose Change’s most recent performance, British lead singer Mitch McGrist sounded normal when singing. “Mitch sounded good out there. I was a bit worried going in but luckily things went smoothly,” said Loose Change’s manager, Eve Mann, relieved to hear Mitch’s voice sounded absolutely ordinary while he crooned away on stage, despite the singer’s heavy Cockney accent.

Denis Villeneuve Reports Warner Bros. Rejected Original Title Of “Dune 2: 2 Dune 2 Handle” | May 03 2024

Despite the commercial success of “Dune: Part Two,” in a recent interview, Denis Villeneuve lamented that Warner Bros. had rejected his original proposed title of “Dune 2: 2 Dune 2 Handle.” “It’s 2 bad, because I really thought that we had a winner in that title.

I Might Consider Watching More Owen Wilson Movies If He Stopped Shitting On My Porch | May 03 2024

Owen Wilson just took another shit on my porch, and if he wants me to start watching more of his movies, he might consider stopping doing that. Look, everyone’s talking about all these Owen Wilson movies I need to see, but I’m not gonna start watching them until he stops sneaking onto my porch in the middle of the night and quietly pooping on my doorstep and I’m not afraid to say it.

"Love Is Blind" Betroths Man With Smooth Talking Horse | May 03 2024

Netflix’s flagship reality romance show “Love Is Blind” just wrapped up their sixth season, betrothing man, Jake, with charismatic Clydesdale, Dakota. “We created this show to give our single audience hope, to show them what dating can look like without shallow physical beauty standards,” said Executive Producer Elizabeth Mann, holding out an open palm full of hay to an eager Dakota.

Controversial Beatboxer Goes Even Further, Saying He Thinks Women Shouldn’t Expect Btss-Tss-Kch-Tss-Tss Unless They Boom-Cat-Cat-Boom-Cat | May 03 2024