Hi everyone, I hope you’re well. This Zoom thing is still pretty crazy to me — oh, Samantha’s here, welcome Samantha — but I know last time we had a little problem with audio feedback. This weekend, though, I went out and bought a new pair of headphones, so I hope you can all hjkkkkhhmnrrrrrrwjkzmeeeeeeek.
Point: This is Earth’s Hottest Year on Record, by The National Climate Data Center
2020 is shaping up to be the Earth’s hottest year on record.
The reason is simple, clear, and undeniable: this disaster is caused by man-made climate change.
This Fall, we face a truly historic decision. I’m sure you have all been following the news and need not hear it again from me, but it bears repeating: for the first time in the recent history of the Woodbury County Harvest Festival, we are opening up the judging for our annual giant pumpkin contest to you, the people.
Now Officer, I do understand you’ve given me a speeding ticket here which says I sped and I have to pay the state $200. But what you might not be clued in on here is that it’s actually Opposite Day, which means this ticket is — unfortunately — invalid.
My god… How’d you make it to the top of this mountain? No one’s gotten up here alive in years… I barely heard you knocking on the door of my hovel because of the howling winds of the blizzard. You’ve interrupted my work but please come in and make yourself at home, there are carved stone chairs to sit on.