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The Brown Noser

Opinion (Mar 11 2022 issue)

On This Plot Of Land Shall I Build A Thoroughfare For Carriages And Perhaps One Day They'll Sell $55 Tie-Dye Skirts Upon It by Lord William Thayer | Mar 11 2022

Avaunt, lads! I would fain tell ye of my plans to build a thoroughfare on this very plot of land so that carriages might hie themselves hither and yon, and so that one day they’ll sell $55 tie-dye skirts upon it. O! The dreams I have of this causeway that I shall pave from end to end.

Dance For Grandma! by Grandma | Mar 11 2022

Ah, sweet Josephine, moseying about in your little flower dress! My my, darling, I haven’t seen you in ages. What has it been, four, twelve years? Why don’t you do a twirl for grandma! Come on now, sweet daffodil, show Grandma your special dance! That’s right, dance for Grandma! Look at you, darling Josephine, prancing around just like you did when you were a babe.

Golly, Mister! That’s One Fine Looking Sandwich! Boy, I Sure Am Hungry… by Lil Wilbur Crump | Mar 11 2022

Well golly, mister! Never have I ever laid eyes on a more delicious lookin’ sandwich! Yessir, I bet that’s a meal you’ll surely enjoy! Boy oh boy, I sure am hungry… Now it looks like you’re having a grand ol’ turkey sandwich. Turkey is my favorite, no doubt about it! Couldn’t tell you the last time I enjoyed a nice turkey sandwich, but I really hope you enjoy yours.

POINT: If Loving You Baby Is Uncouth, I Don't Wanna Be Couth. COUNTERPOINT: Inter-Employee Relations Are Strictly Forbidden At The Cleveland Renaissance Fair | Mar 11 2022

Point: If Loving You Baby Is Uncouth, I Don’t Wanna Be Couth, by Ike Chagrin Alas and alack! You jest well, sugar pie, but know one thing. If loving you baby is uncouth, then I don’t wanna be couth. Just because human resources declare it so, does not setteth in stone! Just because there is a goalkeeper, doth not mean we cannot score! Just one shot, baby, and I’ll give you the keys to the Cleveland kingdom.

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