I look at these innocent, fortunate nobodies. Look at them! Freshmen without a care in the world, save their clothes and their hormones and their desire to impress descendants of famous people. Free to blissfully live their own lives, free from the fear that at any moment they might be accosted by some fame-seeking urchin, squealing “Regis! Regis! Sing for us a selection from your great-grandfather’s oeuvre, like the classics ‘Stardust’ and ‘The Nearness of You’, which number among the most-recorded songs in American history!”