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The Brown Noser

Daniel Ricker

Writer (Retired)

Daniel's articles

New "Saw V" to Feature Torture Sequence of Watching Former "Saw" Movies | Nov 30 2007

The next member of the Saw horror series will feature a torture sequence consisting of watching all four previous Saw films in succession. This, says screenwriter Alan Radish, will "bring the Saw series to new areas of horror never before explored in Hollywood.

Banner Malfunctions, Launches U.S. Nuclear Arsenal | Oct 24 2007

The Brown University registration program Banner malfunctioned Wednesday, triggering the launch of the entire United States nuclear arsenal to select targets around the world.

Shitfaced Godzilla Leaves Tokyo Intact | Oct 24 2007

The Japanese capital was left unmarked last Tuesday as the gargantuan monster Godzilla missed the cityscape entirely while on his biweekly rampage. After avoiding the city's port completely when emerging from the ocean, taking some poorly aimed swings at passing airplanes, and failing to demolish a single bridge, he promptly returned to the ocean and passed out.