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The Brown Noser

John Szymanski

Writer (Retired)

John's articles

Nothing in Mailbox 3863 | Apr 30 2008

Wednesday morning, a student at Brown University began the day with understandably high hopes. As an Ivy League student, a lacrosse player, and the owner of a brand-new pair of cargo shorts, Brett Lombardo had every reason to expect a continuous shower of approval and attention from those around him.

Committee on Slavery and Justice: "Slavery Unjust" | Feb 25 2008

Appointed by President Ruth Simmons in 2003, the Steering Committee on Slavery and Justice has been charged with investigating the University's historical relationship to slavery and its current role in fulfilling its newfound dedication to justice. The group of faculty, students, and administrators spent years confronting this conflicted history, and recently released their final word on the subject: slavery, they say, was "unjust.

Brown Adds Additional Ramps for Handicapped Access, Sweet Jumps | Nov 30 2007

The University has recently announced plans to extend its services to the wheeled by not only providing further access to everyday necessities like shelter and food, but by providing facilities to make their lives more exciting, and perhaps even radical.

Corduroy Pillow Makes Its Mark | Oct 24 2007

A recent development in textile manufacturing has sparked a revolution in American sleep. The era of corduroy is upon us. Earlier today, Inventor Payton Whitney, great-grandson of the famous industrialist responsible for the cotton gin, unveiled his Wide-Wale Loom, the first fully-automated machine capable of weaving the notoriously textured corduroy fabric into a fully functioning pillow.

Career Week Ends, Students Enjoy Retirement | Apr 27 2007

After a week of dragging themselves out of bed at the crack of dawn in hopes of advancing their careers, Brown students are fed up, and just about through.